Actually making an income in the creative world is an amazing blessing. I am so honored to have the job I do being a Colorado Wedding Photographer. But as with every job comes its hardships, and the biggest challenge I've found this year is turning on my creativity and inspiration on demand and when I am seriously struggling to remember the basics in life like my right hand from my left.
My dear sweet daughter, Olive, has yet to sleep well her whole life (she's nine months now.) This has left me in extreme sleep deprivation and adrenal burn out. To say I am exhausted would be an understatement. I've never been one to function well off little sleep so you can imagine not sleeping well for 9+ months has done to my mind and body. I feel in a constant fog. So, you can imagine how being creative and inspire is extremely challenging to get to.
Being a Colorado wedding photographer demands though that I turn on those creative juices no matter how much sleep or how well my life is going. Being a wedding photographer means that for this one day a bride has been planning for months if not years is the day you must be on. And to be honest, some wedding days, especially this past year, I am barely able to remember a lot of important things.
I'll be the first to admit that my work has probably suffered this past year due to my daughter's lack of sleep. And this girl just seems to know that mom will be gone all day the next day because every single wedding the night before has been her worst sleep, we are talking about a total of 4 hours of sleep for us. But every single wedding I feel like God has provided for me to turn it on despite how empty I feel. This verse comes to mind specifically in this trail we've prayed to end and prayed against before Olive was even born:
"...'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9
I am so thankful I have the confidence of God's calling me to this job, to turn on creativity when I literally have nothing to offer. Yet, He always provides, and for that I am so thankful. I will still continue to pray for more sleep and strive to do the best at my job to bless all my amazing clients. But there is a reality to the fact that all wedding photographers are human and have crap happen in their lives yet they have to show up and pretend as if nothing is wrong and turn on the inspiration because this is someone's wedding day. It is a hard job but it is a beautiful job. I am so blessed to be here but I will not deny that some days it is extremely challenging.