Two months ago I swore I would never sleep train Olive, because the one method we tried at four months was a disaster. I ended up in tears and shaking in anxiety after; fearing I was breaking my baby and going to cause her to NEVER trust me again and hate sleep forever.
So, I know I have mom hormones and protective mama pants on always so I was probably too emotional for what was really happening when at the root Olive was protesting what she has always had for her whole life, to be nursed to sleep.
But there came a time when we had to sleep train Olive, because no matter what we tried Olive would not stay asleep. We were exhausted from co-sleeping and nursing every 30-90 minutes at night to get her to stay asleep so we could squeeze some sleep in. We decided to try our version of the infamous cry it out method.
Instead of reading some book, my husband was insistent that it shouldn't be this hard to figure out and that with prayer and our instincts would could handle this. So we jumped right into it setting boundaries and rules for ourselves about how long to let her cry before we to comfort her and that we would never pick her up out of the crib to comfort her.
After just two days of a lot of crying for everyone Olive slept 7 hours straight. It was a miracle! Naps were still a battle and sometimes would result in hour long battles of comfort and let her cry cycles. Even as I write this and we are in 3 weeks of doing this and there still are very hard days. But Olive is now only waking up 1-3 times at night and is in her own bed from 7pm-630am or 8am most days. Josh and I have an actual evening to ourselves now and we are all getting a lot more rest. It isn't perfect and there are days I feel like I am a failure and breaking my baby by letting her cry in her bed. And there are days when I cannot listen to her cry for one more minute so she is awake for WAY to long, but it ultimately has helped.
In all of this I discovered me trying to control every piece of Olive and do things "perfectly" was the root of my anxiety and fears, but the moment I let go and trust God and trust my baby is capable of more we all finally breathed a bit of fresh air.
Parenting is such a hard challenging thing and knowing what is the "right" and "wrong" decision for you and your family is such a hard line. But in the end I am thankful I still get to wake up with this sweet girl, bring her into my bed and snuggle her as she eats her morning breakfast. ;)
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